Priorities, Priorities, Priorities...

I have heard it said that if you want to know what someone's priorities are, look at how they spend their time and money.  We all say certain things are our priority because it sounds good - but the proof is in the numbers.

There is no condemnation in this, of course.  Most people spend at least 8 hours a day working, not necessarily because their job is a priority, but because eating is.  And people often spend more money than they should when they are deeply unhappy.  Nevertheless, to avoid sleepwalking through life, wandering about in an endless rut until death, we must learn to be mindful of how we spend our time and our money.  We must also become mindful of who we spend time with and what we choose to talk about.

Have you ever seen someone who is doing quite well in life, happy and reasonably successful - then one day they meet someone, or some group, and the next thing you know they are struggling?  It could be an ill-advised but convenient relationship, a toxic friendship, or a draining coworker.  These people can seduce us into wasting enormous amounts of time or talking about negative things that drag us down and prevent us from becoming our best selves.  We end up spending our time and money doing things that do not support our evolution and impact on the world.  We cannot blame these individuals, however, the responsibility is ours.

So, what can we do when we realize we have to cut someone off whose contribution to our lives is consistently negative:
1) Prayerfully consider our motives to make sure we are limiting contact for the right reasons.  For instance if you are just mad at them or jealous of them, don't pretend it's something else.  Own up to it.  When the need is legit, the normal emotion is regret.  However, you cannot let pity or guilt trick you into keeping the wrong people in your life.  You are doing a disservice to yourself and to them.  You can still be kind and cordial, just from a safe distance...

2) If the relationship is significant, give them an opportunity to change.  Only do this if it is a very significant relationship such as a spouse or close family member.  Be honest with them - that you no longer feel you have anything in common.  Let them know what you would like to see your relationship become.  Listen to them to see if you have misunderstood something or can support them in some specific way.  Perhaps there are ways you can both grow together without severing ties.  This is a last-ditch effort - and it will become apparent pretty quickly if they are open to this or not.

3)  If you have given them every opportunity and all you can see is consistent negativity such as backbiting, cruelty, gossip, sabotage, drama, disregard for your feelings or well-being, etc., prayerfully allow this person to continue along their path without you.  To keep going along with something you know is wrong and that hinders your peace and progress is to be disloyal to yourself.  You cannot be your best self in this world if you give away your power in foolish ways.  You are also enabling the toxic person to continue on in their negative habits.

Many people mistake spirituality for being a doormat.  This is not the example of any of the avatars in history.   All of them were non-violent people but none of them were doormats.  Let's follow their example and stand in our truth with full integrity.

Have a wonderful week and follow your bliss...

Ever since the 1960’s the word counterculture has been thrown around.  It seemed fairly clear back then. The counterculture was fighting against the Vietnam war, racial discrimination, sexism, and patriarchy in all American institutions, including the family.  Yes, different groups had different solutions.  Some believed in working through the system to transform it; others believed the current system was without hope.  They felt that the only solution was to form a parallel America completely separate from the mainstream.

These days I have heard the word counterculture used to describe everything from neo-conservatives and tea-partiers to the Occupy movement to organic farmers to alternative healers.  Does the term counterculture still have any meaning when everyone, at least in the United States, has access to any belief system under the sun at the click of a mouse?  Is there a common culture to be Counter to?

To me, the counterculture is real, but it is not a group or a movement.  It can only be described as an attitude.  To form a counterculture “group” is, in my opinion, an oxymoron.  Avoiding group-think is a mindset – one that must be constantly updated, guarded, and protected.  It is all too easy to accept certain beliefs as gospel when, actually, the conditions we experience were created by us, and accepted by us.  When we cease to accept them, they disappear – like public lynchings of black people and women being treated as the property of their husbands.

While these are extreme examples, the Counterculture Mindset is practical and can apply to everything in our daily lives.  On a personal level, limiting beliefs and group-think are what keep us from creating professional lives that really bring out our best.  Monday morning is still the most likely time for a person to suffer a heart attack. We drag ourselves to soul-crushing jobs that do nothing to maximize our infinite potential.  And when we are no longer viewed as profitable, we are discarded without pity.  We then hope we are used by the next taker before bill collectors and landlords descend upon us like flies on shit.

The art world should be an exception to this - an oasis of sorts - because art is, inherently, spiritual in nature.  However, precisely because art is spiritual and not a bankable, economic widget, it is often disdained by our consumerist society, except as an investment vehicle for the ultra-rich.  These people are told what to buy by “experts” and make their decisions based upon expected resale value, not their emotional or spiritual connection to the work.  It is 180 degrees from what art is intended to be, but that is the Culture.

The Counterculture Mindset, however, rejects this ideology. Net worth and true worth are NOT the same things.  Each one of us can make a small impact on his or her own community.  People are not to be evaluated by their commercial value.  Art is not better because it was sold for seven figures.  People are not better because they are younger, more attractive, male, white, wealthy, or any other silly, money-based ranking system.

The purpose of life, in my opinion, is to know The Goddess and to make her known.  You can only do that by being You to the fullest.  You cannot get there by following the Culture and its dictates.  The Culture is a seductress that will lead you with her siren’s call to the rocks of mediocrity.  Don’t fall for it.  Meditate, go within, and develop the Counterculture Mindset.  It takes courage and constant vigilance.  It is neither an easy nor a crowded path.  You may have to stand alone against people that are selling the Culture and its brand of group-think.  However, adopting the Counterculture Mindset may, in the end, be humanity’s best hope and the only way to be truly free.

Have a rebelliously wonderful week and follow your bliss!

"Mabon" 16" X 20" oil on canvas

It has been quite a full week!  In the past seven days I have been racially profiled (see my Facebook page for the full rant and details), received full credit for my dialogue in my playwriting class (which I posted last week), and actually took some practical steps towards my dream of moving to Northern California.

This is the time of year where I begin to think about my goals for the upcoming year.  Rather than wait until December 31st and throw together some tired, uninspired goals like "losing weight" (boooorrrring!), I like to engage my imagination and think about what I would actually love to have happen.  That's always a great question to ask one's self:  "what would I love??"

I would love to live a life of total freedom - being able to support myself with my tutoring, my writing, and my art.  I would love to have a conscious, intelligent group of friends who are on a similar path.  I would love to make a difference somehow in my community.  I would love to fall in love with someone worthy of my love and loyalty.  I would love to live free of fear, doubt, and worry and help others do the same.  What would you love?? Think about it...

So now that I have figured out what I would love, the next step will be to make some goals that support that.  Without goals it is easy to run around aimlessly doing things that seem right but that don't support your highest dreams for yourself.   But goal-setting does not have to be tedious left-brained work like doing a budget (yuck!)

No, goal-setting is first dreaming, then visualizing, then jotting down whatever action steps come to mind.  And the act of conscious goal-setting is not about ego-based ambition or acquisition.  There is no failure as long as you're staying true to your highest self, continuing to move forward, and not giving up.  Things happen in their own perfect time in their own perfect way.  There is no reason to rush or to force anything.  Life can be much easier than we sometimes allow it to be.

May your week be full of ease and flow as you stay true to your highest self and follow your bliss.
Following is my work in progress on my master's thesis and a photo from printmaking.

by Raven Burnes - work in progress

by Raven Burnes - 8"X 10" print

Participating In Our Own Evolution

I heard someone today make a very interesting comment about evolution.  He said that the history of evolution has been an external progression – something that happened TO us to get us this far - but that the future of evolution will be participatory.  In other words, we are co-creators with the evolutionary process.  I agree.  We can already see evidence of this with climate change, our various lists of extinct and near-extinct creatures, and our almost dogged pursuit of our own destruction.

While it is fascinating to think of such things on a grand scale, the details of our daily lives seem much more pressing.  Fortunately, the same idea applies on the micro-level.  We co-create the progression of our own lives – our own personal evolution – through our interaction with life’s circumstances and events.

For instance, in my last blog I spoke offhand about the mistreatment and cruelty I experienced last week and my struggle to maintain my inner peace.  I knew that my response to this event was critical not only to the health of my spirit but also to my future circumstances and Karmic influences.  I have learned through experience that instead of fighting negative circumstances, the key is to stop resisting at once.  That doesn’t mean to get cozy with negativity or to tell yourself that it’s O.K.  No, ceasing resistance means asking yourself questions like “What must I do to get through this event with dignity, poise, and self-love” or “If this situation were to remain unchanged, how must I adapt?”  “How can I respond with grace to this situation?”.

These questions allow us to counter our natural, emotional, ego-based reactions with Goddess-like thoughts.  These thoughts provide the space needed to develop our highest and best responses to tense, difficult situations.   Also, on a practical level, the sooner we stop resisting negativity, the sooner it goes away.

This, at least, has been my experience.  The difficult people and circumstances I was dealing with disappeared so quickly that it was shocking.  The situation was still unjust, unethical, unbecoming, and many other things – but I am now free of them.  That situation is no longer a problem and, in fact, seems as if it happened a long time ago.

So, my point is that we are not passive pawns in some cosmic game of chess.  We are not simply victims of happenstance cowering before the whims of fate.  Yes, life is unpredictable and even heart-rending at times.  But when we sit down to the card game of life, it is the skillful playing of the hand we’ve been dealt that ultimately determines our happiness - and whether or not we make a positive impact on this planet.

Thus, we co-create our destiny through our spiritual practice.  But we do not do it alone.  I can say, without question, that the gods and goddesses in human flesh –also known as my friends – have been instrumental to my success in dealing with negative situations.  To them I send a special blessing of Love, Peace, and Harmonizing Prosperity.

May you have a great week co-writing your destiny by standing up to life with grace and peaceful determination.  Love and blessings!  Now, please, go follow your bliss…

Please join me on Facebook so we can continue the dialogue!

My Masters Project on Wicca

This week has been all about research.  My next major project is for my Masters in Metaphysics.  I attended the University of Metaphysical Sciences about 4 years ago and the only thing missing was my thesis, which I am finally completing.  Because it is a spiritual program outside of mainstream religion, its practices are more flexible and appropriate for a metaphysician.  I was allowed to co-create my thesis project in a way that satisfies the requirements of the degree but also reflects my unique patterns and gifts.

I am creating a book on the Wiccan wheel of the year.  The book will be based upon a series of paintings I am creating that will illustrate the essence of each holiday (Sabbat) and contain an explanation of each one.  It will also have a section on my personal experience with this spiritual practice, tips for rituals, and my bio.  I will be turning the paintings into prints which will illustrate the written portion.  If I feel it is worthy, I may even make it available on Amazon.  The project is slightly overwhelming for me since I have never attempted something like this before but I am also really excited about it.  I am nervous about the outcome, but I trust that the process itself will expand my consciousness in many unforeseen ways.

So, although I have no sketches to show yet, I will share below some of the images I have found that have inspired me.  As my usual practice, I rarely base my paintings on any one photograph.  Rather, I like to look at a bunch of references then come up with an image that captures the essence of everything I have looked at.  The images all have something to do with the Wiccan calendar, either directly or indirectly.

Wicca is a nature-based spiritual practiced centered around the rhythms of nature.  It celebrates the complementary gifts of the Male and the Female as reflections of the God and Goddess.  Nevertheless,  It has gotten a bad name due to the biases of the book-based religions, but witchcraft is not evil or even superstitious.  The rituals are not believed to have power in and of themselves, they are merely visual anchors and reminders to facilitate the internal energy shifts necessary to make changes in one’s life experience. 

it is essentially a female-empowering spiritual discipline that elevates the Goddess, the Earth, and Intuition.

I hope to explain more about this as I progress in the project.  For now, please enjoy these beautiful images derived from various sources on the internet.

May you have a beautiful, heart-centered week dedicated to service in whatever sphere you currently find yourself in.  And don’t forget to follow your bliss!  Peace and blessings.

Where Spirit Leads, I Will Follow

Life is interesting right now as my artistic life gets off the ground.  Although I have always been a long-range planner, my decisions evolve as I gain more information.  Sometimes my plans change so radically, they bear no resemblance to what I started out with.  However, the process of planning is still important.

The problem with planning is that whenever you project into the future, you are dealing with a set of unknowns.  In algebra you have to narrow a problem down to one unknown and then solve for it.  In life there are many unknowns.

When I began to get close to graduating from El Camino I would imagine my life as an artist.  I figured I would get some sort of a day job, hopefully in the art field, but I didn’t really care what field it was in.  I figured I would continue to take evening classes and do my art at night and on weekends.  I didn’t know when or if any of that was going to happen.  But I trusted Spirit to guide and provide and just did the things I knew to do.  Well, a little over six weeks from the end of my final semester, and my life looks exactly as I hoped it would.  I have a full time day job and I do my art at night and on the weekends.  I plan to take painting classes at Otis and West L.A. College this fall.

Although I took classes in sculpture, ceramics, drawing, and painting, I have decided that my primary focus is painting.  I find myself expanding my mediums and have been working more with acrylics and gouache.  I am also exploring my literary past.  I graduated the first time with an English degree and did not do much writing after that except for the occasional poem and a TV pilot I wrote in a film class.  But lately I am feeling that old flame being rekindled.  I have always loved literature but never felt that confident about my writing.  Finally, I am ready to explore this avenue with a class or two this fall and see what comes of it. 

This rekindled love for literature, after studying art for two years, came as a surprise to me.  But life is exciting and never boring when you pay attention to your intuition and follow the leading of Spirit.  In looking at past journals, I see a recurring theme of wanting to write, of feeling an urge to create stories, but things happen when the timing is right.

So, if I were to give some tips on how to live an intuitive life filled with exciting twists and turns, I would say the following:

1)      Spend a good deal of time alone so that you can shut out the chatter, opinions, and agendas of other people (including the media) and get in touch with your authentic Self.

2)      Develop a meditation practice that encourages mental and spiritual strength, depth, and wisdom.  Meditation teaches you how to see things from an expanded perspective rather than getting sucked into the minutiae of the day-to-day.

3)      Read.   Read lots of different types of things – magazine, books, newspapers, blogs, etc.

4)      Watch.  Watch lots of different types of things – movies, plays, YouTube clips, live events, channels you don’t normally watch, etc.

5)      When you get an intuitive hit, do not argue with it, reason with it, or ignore it.  Spirit speaks softly whereas Ego shouts.  Spirit shows up where it is welcome, although it is always present.  Ego forces itself on you and commands attention.  You have to lean forward and incline your ear to hear Spirit, but it speaks clearly.  Ego manipulates your emotions and exploits your fears.  Spirit says things that feel right to the soul.  Ego says things that stir up the passions and cause anxiety and confusion. 

You don’t have to be “spiritual” to live intuitively.  Spirit, as I said, manifests where It is made welcome.  It is the “still small voice” within that wants only your highest good.  It is full of love and grace, not only for you, but for everyone. It uplifts, motivates, and is the energy behind the creative spirit.

May we all make Spirit welcome this week and follow Its Dear Voice to the path towards our highest good.  Peace and blessings.  Now go follow your bliss…

The Search For Love in a Patriarchal Society

There has been a persistent theme in my life over the last few weeks of analyzing romantic relationships and how I feel about them.  I just finished a wonderful book on the subject entitled Communion: The Female Search For Love by bell hooks.  Hooks is a feminist writer whom I had heard of but had never read any of her books.  The book was an excellent analysis of how patriarchy impacts romantic relationships.

Hooks’ basic premise is that enlightened women, especially feminists, who have been largely successful in fighting patriarchy in so many other areas, want romantic relationships that are deeply intimate and fulfilling.  At odds with this goal is the patriarchal tenet that says that real men are unemotional, closed, and unwilling to talk about their feelings.  This is a learned social behavior, not something innate in male babies.  Male babies cry for the same reasons female babies cry.  But, over time we learn our roles within the patriarchy; and these roles provide built-in conflict when it comes to relationships.

Happily, more and more men are embracing feminism, knowing that equality and decency towards one another is not merely a “woman’s issue”.  Every living human being has had a mother at some point, so women’s issues affect everyone.  In addition, the happiness and success of our daughters, sisters, friends, and coworkers affects the society as a whole, not just those individual women.

While hooks’ book title implies that the topic is romantic love, that is only part of it.  Love is love, and it shows up in many different forms.  Strong platonic friendships in addition to healthy family relationships, where they exist, are key to a sense of community and to one’s overall happiness and security.
What I took away from the book for myself is a confirmation of what I see going on in many romantic relationships and a rational explanation for why I have resisted them.  Within patriarchy, women are taught to find their fulfillment within the boundaries of a romantic relationship.  Men are taught that marriage is a trap and a burden that should be postponed for as long as possible.  Women are taught that being loved by a man is the highest form of validation and the key to a happy and successful life.  Men are taught to find their validation through work, that women are an accessory to their lives, and that a wife’s goals and aspirations should be secondary to the man’s career goals and to the happiness of the family.  Men are also taught that they should be superior to all women in all relevant aspects of life and that a woman’s beauty is a reflection upon his worth as a man.  This is why many men, especially those whose financial success makes them feel entitled, leave their marriages in pursuit of younger women once they reach a certain age.  A woman’s worth, under patriarchy, expires once her youthful good looks and innocence give way to wisdom and maturity.

Given this sad state of affairs between men and women, many women understandably try to navigate their happiness as best they can without directly challenging the system.  To challenge the system is to risk “being alone” – which is patriarchy’s ultimate punishment for lack of conformity.  Society has always taught women that the worst thing that could happen to them is to end up a “spinster” or “old maid” (notice that there are no male equivalents for these derogatory labels).  So women try to find love anyway, within the system, and often tolerate a lifetime of disrespect, uncertainty, and a lack of love.  Those who are luckier either find loving enlightened men or “benevolent patriarchs” with whom they are able to forge reasonably happy unions.

The whole topic is fascinating to me, but I am happy to be a spectator for now.  My goal is to fill my life with love of all kinds.  I love my children, my friends, my career in art, my God, and myself.  I find a great deal of fulfillment in just Being.  Ironically, self-love is the first step and represents the only real shot any of us has in finding romantic love.  But a general sense of happiness and fulfillment is what’s important and is what we are put on this earth to experience.

May this week be one of deep, profound love and connection with Reality and with each other.  Peace and blessings and, as always, please continue to follow your Bliss…