This past Wednesday I had my first workshop as a writer. For those
who are unfamiliar, a writer's workshop is a critique session. Certain
writers are selected in advance to have their stories "workshopped".
The week before, the participants are given the stories to be
workshopped. They read the stories and prepare feedback for the author.
I
had been dreading my workshop because I still wrestle with self-worth
issues. Nevertheless, it was a great experience. I was given some good
suggestions for my story, although most of the feedback was positive.
(What a relief!) In fact, I have already incorporated the suggestions in
my rewrite (to view my short stories, please see the "Writing" page on
this blog).
During the workshop the writer is not allowed to
speak. He or she can only take notes. Afterwards the participants can
ask questions of the writer and/or the writer can ask questions of the
participants. One question in particular that I received from one of my
classmates has been haunting me for the past few days.
He asked
me "Why do you write?" I was completely taken aback as I had no idea
this question was coming. No one had asked this question of anyone else
so far, and we have been doing these workshops for several weeks. I
don't remember what I said, but I can assure you it was idiotic.
So, now that I have had time to think about it, this is why I write:
I
write because having a story inside of you is like feeling a sneeze or a
yawn coming on. If, for some reason, the sneeze or the yawn doesn't
come, it is very frustrating. For years, I was in this condition -
having stories come to me but not having the confidence to write them
down.
I write because in my stories I can communicate my feelings
in a safe way. I did not grow up in a "safe" home, where feelings could
be expressed freely and received with love. So I learned to stifle and
suppress most of who I am to avoid screaming fights, bullying, and even
violence. In my stories I can say and do (through my characters)
whatever I want. And if I don't want anyone to read what I've written, I
don't have to show it to anyone.
I write because it comes
naturally to me. I have read a large number of books and articles
because I am an introvert. I don't consciously copy any author in
particular, but because I have read so many authors, I have somewhat of
a sense of what makes a story interesting.
I write because I like the feeling of having something tangible that I created.
I write because I can't not write.
Incidentally,
these are also the reasons why I make art. My wish for all of you is
that you find what it is in life that you can't NOT do - and do it to
the fullest.
Peace and love, and - follow your bliss!